It’s strange how these things can creep up on you. One minute you’re going about your day as usual, and the next, your body is sending signals you don’t quite recognize. Hot flashes. Weight gain. Emotional swings that seem to come out of nowhere.
I remember my first hot flash vividly, though at the time I didn’t give it much attention. I was busy. Life was full. There wasn’t space to pause and ask what was happening. It wasn’t until I started working from home during the shutdown that I finally had room to notice. Night after night, I woke up between 2 and 3 a.m., throwing off the covers, wide awake and overheated. It happened so consistently it felt almost scheduled.
At the time, I was still a few years shy of fifty. Surely this couldn’t be that. Or could it?
What complicates my story is that I had a hysterectomy and prolapse repair nearly eighteen years ago. The surgeons saved my ovaries, which spared me from immediate menopause. Still, the word itself felt heavy. Menopause. I remember night sweats during recovery — the kind that leave you soaked — and wondering now, in hindsight, if those early signs were already there.
SUMMER OF 2020
I remember the summer of 2020 clearly. I took a photo then — about fifteen pounds lighter — and felt good in my body. Confident. Comfortable. When I look at that picture now, I don’t feel longing so much as curiosity. What happened between then and now?
The answer is: a lot.
Emotionally, physically, hormonally — everything was shifting at once. And if there was one quiet blessing in that difficult year, it was the ability to experience those changes at home. I could wear lighter clothing. Take breaks. Cool down when I needed to. Slowing down gave me the chance to connect the dots I’d missed while rushing from work to practices to appointments.
The hot flashes were only one part of it. What caught me off guard was the weight gain and the emotional volatility — panic, anxiety, anger, and tears that came easily and often. I felt like if I could just figure it out, I could regain control. After all, isn’t everything supposed to be figureoutable?
Weight Gain
The weight gain bothered me most. I loved feeling good in my clothes, and slowly that ease disappeared. I started choosing outfits based on what didn’t feel tight or restrictive. I was running regularly, doing HIIT workouts, lifting weights — all the things that had worked before — yet the scale kept creeping up, especially around my stomach and thighs.
It felt discouraging and confusing. I was doing “everything right,” or at least what had always been right before.
Hormones
That’s when I started researching hormones. Testing revealed elevated cortisol, FSH, and LH levels, along with low estrogen. I assumed if I could just bring those numbers down, the weight would follow. I bought the supplements. Changed my routines. Even stopped running, replacing it with walking, hoping to reduce cortisol.
Some things improved. The hot flashes eased. My moods became more manageable. But the weight stayed.
That’s when I realized this wasn’t going to be solved by one missing piece.
Diet
Diet was the next focus. I noticed alcohol and carbs made symptoms worse, so I started cutting them back. I’d lost weight successfully years earlier with Weight Watchers and understood portion control well, but I wanted faster results. Keto was everywhere, and people swore by it.
I tried. I really did. Bacon, eggs, butter, heavy cream — it sounded indulgent, but it didn’t work for me. I lost interest, cheated often, and eventually abandoned it. I tried another plan focused on sugar calories and learned a lot, but tracking became unsustainable.
By this point, I was overwhelmed. I watched endless videos. Followed hormone experts. Bought books. Searched for the thing that would finally make sense of it all.
Looking back, I wasn’t failing — I was drowning in information.
May 2023
The turning point came when I saw photos taken at my mother-in-law’s work anniversary. I barely recognized myself. I felt embarrassed and frustrated. That same night, I woke up at 3 a.m., anxious and angry, scrollingon my phone. An ad for Weight Watchers popped up — $10 a month.
I signed up immediately.
Not because it was new, but because it was familiar. It was the only thing that had ever worked for me, and I finally admitted I didn’t need more information — I needed consistency. Slowly, the weight began to come off.
It Takes Time
None of the time I spent experimenting was wasted. I learned what triggers my symptoms. I learned that missing medication or supplements matters. I learned which types of exercise support me now and which deplete me.
Most importantly, I learned there is no quick fix. This season requires patience. Moderation. A calorie deficit. A long-term mindset. I’m not where I want to be yet — but I’m far from where I started.
My Advice to You
If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be this: don’t get lost in the noise. Take what’s helpful and leave the rest. Check in with yourself regularly and be honest about what’s working.
Sometimes, returning to the basics — simple food, sustainable movement, realistic expectations — does more for you than chasing every new promise.
